Ophelia de Havilland spanking a man

If you would like to visit me for discipline, you may either telephone or email me. Phoning will assure you that you are dealing with the sort of upper class English lady that you should expect to get a good, sound British Spanking from. However, emailing is also fine – we can talk afterwards. What I want most is to make sure that we are in tune with each other. I spank for pleasure, and because I believe men need it.

Whichever you do, please remember that first impressions are very important. Ensure that you are respectful and show good manners. I like intelligent people with a sense of humour, who are honest, fun to be with, respectful and above all, who love to be spanked.

Speaking of first impressions, please remember I am an English Disciplinarian, not a mistress. Start your email with ‘Dear Miss Ophelia’, and do not refer to me as “Mistress” or “Goddess”.

Your initial email should state your level of experience, your likes, your dislikes and anything else that may be relevant. It helps me to know you better and see if we will be compatible. Please keep your email simple however – there is no need for a Shakespearian play. Ensure you include the days and times you are available or prefer.

Having introduced yourself to me, you are now set to offer yourself to an enthusiastic, energetic and ardent disciplinarian who would like nothing better than to give you a jolly good hiding, just as in times gone by. By now I will also have a clear idea of what you need, the degree of strictness or severity, and will be looking forward to administering it. Many men have something within them that tells them they need a spanking; they may have never had one yet just know they need it, or they may have grown up with it, and want to revisit that inner place. It is my authenticity as an advocate of corporal punishment, along with my own profound training and background on the receiving end, that allows me to truly understand men who need to have their bottoms bared by a calm but disciplinary matriarch. Indeed, you will be privileged to be dealt with by one of the world’s best and most experienced disciplinarians of men.



While I generally devote my time to disciplining males, who all need it in my opinion, I will in special circumstances accept naughty young ladies who have an urge to be spanked by a woman of superior bearing. If you are weak then I can guarantee to beat some backbone into you. However, I don’t see couples.



My disciplinary sessions take place between 10:00am to 6:00pm Monday to Friday. I am also available some weekends but not all.

The fee I ask is agreed in advance, and fixed and firm; please do not try to negotiate as it is likely to be counter-productive. I like to receive the fee in an envelope at the start of your visit.

These are my rules if you’ve not seen me before. (Clearly this doesn’t apply if I’m overseas on tour)


You will be pleased to know that visiting me for a spanking means spending time with someone who will not rush you in, spank you, and rush you out. We will have a cup of tea or coffee, chat, swap stories and get to know each other before we get to your spanking. And when we do, you will not be disappointed. You will find that I am not acting, nor playing a role, I am innately a disciplinarian, wherever I am.

I was shocked but delighted to find that the lady who put me across her knee and turned me back into a squirming little boy, was exactly the same lady who was so nice and friendly at the kitchen table. I’ve never met anyone who was the real thing before. You were just like my aunt.T.C. Kent

I occupy myself this way because I genuinely believe men need hot bottoms, however I am aware not everyone wants a long session, and am considering offering shorter sessions of 15 minutes. Please ask me about this when you call if you think this suits you better.


I expect you to honour your word and be on time. If it happens that you are running a few minutes behind, please pull over, call me and let me know. You should know how far away you are and how late you might be, so it is worth it to take the two minutes to pull up and call. Please do NOT turn up late without calling, and expect to still be seen. It may not be possible or convenient.

It would also be useful to know – in your email – where you are traveling from, along with a contact number I can use on the day itself. I have people travel to see me from all over the South East and South West, however many also come from the Wales, East Anglia, the Midlands and the North, so it is a good idea if we are able to stay in contact on the day – albeit only if needed.

If you need to cancel a session at the last moment and without warning or good reason, please understand you will be required to send the full fee in advance for any future session.




You are welcome to use my toilet but please don’t make a mess; it’s not a locker room. Cleanliness is very important to me.

Please come respectably dressed when coming to see me. This means I do not expect you to stick out like a sore thumb.

I believe I am similar to many other disciplinarians in my likes and dislikes. We all like the basic courtesies in life, so please arrive at the session showered, well-groomed and with pleasant but not excessive after shave or cologne. Ensure your clothes are clean without dirty collars and please don’t wear greying under garments.

This may sound obvious but I also expect you to arrive in a fit condition for the spanking you are about to receive. Do not come bloated after a large meal or smelling of drink. You do not need a sore head, you have come to get a sore bottom! And, although I shouldn’t need to say this, I expect you to be drug and alcohol free.

Please don’t ask me to remove any of my clothing as there will be NO nudity on my part. Don’t ask for permission to touch me or lift up my skirt or uncross my legs – it’s just not my thing and it won’t happen. I do not want any topping from the bottom. I am a disciplinarian, if you are looking for sex play, I am not for you.

I also do not want to hear any foul language at any time whatsoever.

Lastly I do not and will not mix my professional life with my personal life – even if you are a handsome, financially comfortable, single person. I have a life and I expect you have too. I expect my personal life and my personal space to be respected as I will respect yours.

I love this giving a spanking and I want you to enjoy it as much as I do. If you fully understand and go along with what I have asked, then you will.



As a professional domestic disciplinarian, a traditional disciplinarian, please note what you will NOT find here:

  • Sex is NEVER on the menu – ever.
  • I am NOT into body worship of any kind.
  • I do NOT have a dungeon, whipping benches, St Andrew’s crosses, bondage equipment or the other items associated with dominatrix.
  • I DON’T wear leather or rubber.
  • I am NOT in any way a mistress or a dominatrix.
  • I do NOT a switch. In fact the very thought is a big turn off for me.

I do not want either of us to be embarrassed or disappointed, so if you need any of those things, I would ask you continue searching elsewhere.



Please go to the YOUR SPANKING SESSION page to find out more about what to expect if you find yourself across my knee.



  1. Adam

    In truth, I suspect the distance and my finances will conspire to ensure that we never meet, but as a man with a lifelong spanking/ageplay interest, I couldn’t read your website without at least pausing to tell you that you are hitting the nail so squarely on the head that I can’t quite believe you exist!

    I’ve been able to indulge my interests with professionals a few times, but its often been unsatisfying for a variety of reasons… and has meant at least a decade of trawling through site after site of dripping red lettering on black velvet backgrounds, reading about women who will “demand total subservience” and “control you utterly, mind body and soul” – I’m sure there are gentlemen who crave that kind of nonsense, and more power to them, but its just so hard to find a strict aunty-type dominant. Even when I have found a willing professional, the session has often turned out to be a few quick smacks before their hand is too sore and they want to switch to a big black leather paddle or a flogger!

    Anyway, shouldn’t turn what is supposed to be a positive message into a rant… You are a ray of hope that has touched me in a dark moment, and honestly reading your site has moved me to genuine tears from the emotional impact of reading my own thoughts and needs expressed so perfectly. I just thought you would want to know how strongly your words on your site can affect someone, even just surfing through.

    Keep doing what you are doing – it is beautiful and needed



    1. opheliadh


      Thank you so much for your lovely email.

      I really do exist, it’s a shame we probably won’t meet.

      I always hear the same thing time and time again that ladies spank for a couple of minutes and then, as you say the implements come into play, it’s a shame as a lot of gentlemen don’t want or can’t have them but still they get bought into the session.

      If a lady says she can spank for prolonged periods of time then she should be able to deliver.

      My best wishes to you

      Miss Ophelia

  2. David Carlsson

    Dear Miss Ophelia,

    I would be delighted to meet you.
    I am a Swedish spanking connoisseur and do have some experience. Travelling in UK have resulted in great meetings with some of the more famost disciplinarians in your country.
    So far I have never met anyone that manages a prolonged otk spanking. I believe you manage this art well.

    I am travelling to London on June 15, and will land on Gatwick at 12:15.
    Would it be possible to meet you at your place? Or in London?

    Best regards


  3. Jan Czerwinski

    Dear Miss Ophelia, 
    I am very impressed by your nice web site. Although I am over sixty years of age now, unfortunately I have only some incidental experience with CP by means of the firm hand of my 6’6″ stephmother. However, life long learning is one of my favourites. Therefore I kindly request you for an appointment. Pls. let me know some convenient dates and moments and scene of the happening aswell. Apart from the flowers, I am also interested in the fee you expect. Kind regards, Jan

  4. Naughty Paul

    Hello Ophelia,

    It’s Me!  naughty Paul..
    I know I have missed a couple of appointment, but not intentionally I can assure you.
    I know have a bit more pleasure time.
    Seeing you warming your slippers by the fire, evokes a fire within me!
    Getting close to Christmas, Do you require a new pair of slippers, as I can only imagine that after over a years wear and tear, they must be getting quite worn out?

    Please may I buy you a new pair, and experience your flexible old friends once again.

    Naughty Paul xx

  5. Brian

    Dear Miss Ophelia,

    I’ve have spent the last 30 minutes reading your blog / website. You sound truely amazing and unique. I was wondering if the following scenario is possible :-

    I am ordered to remove my clothes down to my boxer shorts, I take my spanking, I am stripped – but have an erection – so I am told to wear a pair of knickers and a bra – and I am then spanked over your knee until the erection has disappeared.

    Is this scenario an option ?

    Kind regards

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